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​Paradigm Principles and Perspectives

Through the Lens of a Life Skills Coach, Wife, and Mother   

9/28/2017 0 Comments

The ever-changing Balance of Parenting

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We have a Uni-cyclist at our house! This unique talent has had to be developed over a LONG period of time.  It is still a wonder to me to watch him climb up on that single wheel and head off into the sunset like it's nothing. The amazing thing about uni-cycling is it takes constant awareness and adjustment to balance. Momentum actually makes balance possible. That 's EXACTLY what parenthood is!  We never have it all figured out because it is ever-changing and constantly moving forward. That is what makes it beautiful.

If ever I needed to understand the delicate balance of parenting, it is now! Everyone's independent schedules require constant vigilance from me as a mother as to what they need (and don't need) from me.  My oldest is independent, he left this morning at 5:30 a.m. I don't remember saying goodbye today, although I know I did just like I always do on his early days. My 2nd oldest had practice until 10 p.m. last night and then homework still. He is also independent but still appreciates the mom presence in the morning. Then there are the twins, they are thriving in their earlier schedule for middle school. As long as I am visible they keep moving at just the right speed. Then there are my little elementary kids, I wake them up about the time everyone else is heading out the door.  We saunter together through their predictable morning routine before they head to the bus stop.

This schedule is stark difference to the past when I was shuffling six younger kids at the same time. We had to have a regimented flow to our chaos. (As much as that seems like an oxymoron- all you mom's with young children and babies know exactly what that means!)  These days, we have to have 'Grab and Go' options for breakfast. I'm not braiding piggy tails and smoothing down "alfalfa's" times four. Even our family morning prayer often happen in what we call "popcorn prayers". (A prayer with this child, then a prayer with these two as we drive down the road!) The regimented chaos has given way to their own individual routines.

Since my younger kids see these patterns of  independence from the older kids, they want to be independent like them and often do things on their own at much younger ages!  That throws me off even more. So needless to say it isn't always clear where my kids need me most.  Like a uni-cyclist, I have to be aware and moving to keep up this balance of parenthood.  It's a horrible feeling to realize I have been standing over my children when they are trying to ride themselves.  As is the opposite, of realizing I've overlooked my little ones who are just waiting for a steady hand of balance through words of encouragement...  thankfully my kids are forgiving, patient, and resilient.  As they are learning and growing so am I,still learning how to balance through every new stage of parenthood.

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    Author

    ​Kimberly Staley is a married, mother of six, in a home filled with adventure. She is a certified life coach whose passion in life has been to ease suffering borne out of disappointments and discouragements that come with life.  She has coached individuals and taught classes on various life skills including: organization, family and home management, time management, communication, and emotional resiliency for the past 12 years. Kimberly is a student of continual learning. She has studied human behavior and social-emotional development. She is currently working  toward her degree in Marriage and Family Studies through Brigham Young University – Idaho.  

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